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Pick at the pops: 03 December 2007

Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse

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Our weekly round-up of the weird and wonderful world of pop music...

Pop music might seem haphazard and unpredictable, but there’s a yin and yang at work – even, you could say, living, breathing examples of the theory of relativity. Yes, for every bizarre or tawdry action, there’s a lovely and nice reaction. Or vice versa.

So, we start with 2007 tabloid darling Amy Winehouse, who has cancelled all her gigs for the rest of the year because her miserable little rodent of a husband has been remanded in custody. “I can’t give it my all on stage without my Blake,” moans Amy. Seriously, give it a try, Ames. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at how little he actually contributes. Never fear, though, pop pickers: at the other end of the spectrum is Lily Allen. Laughing Lil’ claimed last week that she would retire at 25, but it turns out she won’t! It was all larks!

At the bitchy end of the pop playing field, greased-up inflatable bin liner Peter Andre is shocked at resident Oasis sage Liam Gallagher recently referring to him as a “pikey c*nt”. Well, it isn’t very nice, to be fair. Says pumped-up Pete: “That man is all mouth and no trousers.” With legs that short, Pete, Liam just needs a long coat. Arguments can be settled amicably, of course, as Kanye West showed following his spat with ‘70s stunt motorcyclist Evel Knievel. The now late Evel had taken umbrage at Kanye’s spoofing video for ‘Touch The Sky’, which he reckoned tarnished his reputation, and threw a lawsuit at the hip-hop motormouth. They recently met, and Knievel said, “I thought he was a wonderful guy and quite a gentleman.” About a million bucks, we reckon, but not a lot of use now.

Finally, the opposite sides of the ex-pat divide. In one corner we have Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne, LA scenesters but now hosts of next year’s Brit Awards – and very pleased they are about it too. In the other is ex-Manc Morrissey, another Stateside resident but one who’s particularly scathing about the country he left behind. Actually, he’s just clumsy about it. In last week’s NME, Moz excelled himself with comments about immigration, but most telling was his observation that if you walk through Knightsbridge these days you “won’t hear a British accent”. Knightsbridge, eh, Mozzer? You truly remain a man of the people.

Matthew Horton

Picture: Wenn